When you come to a restaurant and you want a chicken curry you don't go: "Please give me something tasty" hoping your waiter would guess it right. Why do we do the same with our life and let it float? * Note: If you want to download your Life Plan template scroll to the bottom. To get to know my personal story keep reading. I am a huge believer of life plans. In fact, I don't even have to believe because I know it to be true. It happened to me not once but twice and with such a precision that it just couldn't be a coincidence. When we let our imagination go wild and describe in details what we want the Universe just conspires to make it happen. I don't know how it does and honestly I don't care. I just know that it works and it's enough for me. When you use a microwave to heat up your food you don't necessarily know how it heats it. You just know that when you push a button and wait 1 min the food is warm. Think Universe a huge microwave and you'll be right. My miracle Number 1: My ideal woman A couple of years ago I was riding on a subway and instead of reading or checking my Facebook I was looking around at young women. I started thinking: "What qualities would I love to see in a woman of my dreams?" Not just a woman I'd like to date who has a nice body or a beautiful smile but a woman that would make my heart sink every time I look at her. I took out my phone and started jotting down some thoughts. Soon I felt like something was going through me and my fingers were flying on a keyboard. I wasn't thinking – I was describing as if I already knew her. I described big things and small details, how she is interested in intellectual ideas and that her ears are not pierced. How she does yoga and loves dogs. Her height, her temper, even her look when she is angry. I got so involved I missed my stop. I felt we were already communicating. Sure enough, I forgot all about it until this autumn when I was in Budapest. We were talking on Skype with my girlfriend Jing who at the time was visiting her parents in China and somehow this description came up. She asked me to read it, I laughed and went along. The more I read the more amazed I was at how much this girl in the description resembled Jing. Yoga, ears not pierced, feminism, her strong will, even that she sometimes doesn't allow me to eat more sweets because of the sugar – it all just fit. She was silent, I was too. She said it was the most romantic thing she ever heard and I was scared. How could this happen in such minor details? What are the chances of us getting together on the Camino where you meet hundreds of people every day, let along finding such a perfect match? It was scary and beautiful. I thanked the Universe and decided to trust that when we really want something it will happen. My miracle Number 2: My ideal life Another time happened just recently. I was sitting on the terrace overlooking the ocean writing to one of my clients when suddenly it struck me – I was living my dream. 3 years ago, maybe even day to day I had my first session with a career coach Anna who started with an unusual exercise. She asked me to go wild and describe my ideal day in details. What I am doing, how I feel, who is next to me, where do I live – everything. She said put no limits to it and imagine all is possible. I said some stuff that was great but too unrealistic for me at the time. I had no money, I was renting a room with my friends, I was single and had only recently found out that such thing as coaching even existed. Anna insisted and I put a date: "Feb 2018" because I figured it was far enough into the future. When you are 25, three years forward seems like a really long stretch. Yesterday I realised that it all came true. I was traveling, living 50 metres from the ocean with a woman of my dream and working with clients from different countries. What seemed impossible became normal. Life made wonderful. Two lessons for you from all this I am huge fan of learning from somebody else's mistakes and you can learn from mine. It took me three years to get where I am now but maybe I could do it faster if I had more courage. Don't let your life float aimlessly burdened by fear and give it a direction now. 1. Find time to dream or your life will stay the same Remember that restaurant and chicken curry? The chances are slim for you get what you really want unless you ask. Realise you don't really need courage, you just need to dare. Remember kids – do they need courage to ask Santa for presents? Of course not! They go all in and ask that car and that computer and a huge Lego and a Disneyland trip and a wish to be an astronaut on top of that all. They haven't yet leant to be afraid. Brush off that dust of disbelief and get ready to dream. 2. Don't be afraid to make big plans and make them happen sooner Remember I though I would take me 3 years to get where I am? Well, what if I said one year? How would my life play out then? I don't know but the chances are high I would find a way to make it all happen in a year. By setting the date we program our sub-conscious and give it an order. Set an earlier date than you think possible and you'll kick-start your mind to come out with plans to make it happen. Our lives are meant to be lived in a state of growth and expansion, not staying safe in a haven of small goals. Let’s think as big as we can to blow our mind with our dreams and then take massive action to get there. We think we need to follow a path that everyone is following but what if there is a shortcut? What if we can make a jump and cut through the unimportant to get to our dreams x10 faster? Just like they did in a movie Interstellar going through hyperspace and travelling light years in days. Thinking big is the fuel for your hyperspace life jump. Ponder, meditate, search for successful examples, fuel yourself with inspiration. And please don’t settle down for small. What's next? So, you are ready to make a life plan and you are ready to make it so big that it scares you. Good! For you I've made a simple guidance that will help you create your life plan. Find a quite place and one hour, take some paper or a laptop, a cup of your favourite tea and unplug from the matrix (meaning turn off Internet). Let your mind wonder for a minute and take some deep breaths. Open the document and start creating your future.
PS. If you've come that far you are my hero. Leave a comment below saying what you want and when you want it. I'll be happy to see your swing for the bleachers.
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If you want to build a good house you need a solid foundation or it will crumble down. Then why do we try to build a successful and happy life on a flimsy base of fear-induced motivation?
Most of us are driven by success. Sure success may take different forms for different people – money, fame, thriving business, contribution to others or family love but we want to get somewhere great. Almost all of the things in life worth having will need some actions to get us beyond where we are now. In the past my primary fuel for success was discontent. I would realise that I didn't like where I was and take actions to change it. The examples of most successful people I found were all the same – driven by desire to perform, extremely result-oriented and hungry to have more, be more or to achieve more. And although I felt that this could be the way to go – to pump yourself up with motivation and drive to break through the day like a hero but it never worked for me. I am simply not the kind of guy who wants to kill the competition and be the king of the rock at all cost. Safety net So I was looking for some solid foundation to start building my success upon. I was looking for some safety net that would give me the freedom to risk without attaching myself to the the results too much. I wanted to feel enough before I started the journey instead of striving to come to a miraculous point where I would feel I am enough. I wanted to feel successful and worthy before I even achieved any of my goals. Imagine that you have to walk 20 metres between two buildings on a narrow plank and imagine you are 20 floors above ground. On the other side there is something very important for you, something that you really want. You look down and gulp. It is scary as hell but you are motivated to get to the other side. Even if you make it there you will sweat and it will unlikely be a pleasant walk. That is what happens when we start our journey to success equipped with ideas like "I've got to do it or I will not be worthy" or "It is absolutely important for me to excel in that". Those feelings bring pressure and even though they can motivate some people but they come with some undesirable side effects of stress, frustration and fear of failure. Now let's get back to the roof. Imagine that just one meter below you is a safety net and you know it will catch you no matter what. Would it be easier to walk those 20 metres? Of course it would. Will you sweat and get stressed in the process? Maybe you will in the beginning but once you realise that the net is safe and there is no danger then the walk will be no more difficult than buying a bottle of milk across the road. This is what happens when we realise that regardless of what happens to us along the way of life we are already enough and we are loved. Not loved because we've done something good but just by the fact we exist. That no achievement will make us feel loved more and no failure less. That our self-worth is not dependent on how much money we have. That if we fail we fail and then we simply start again. Would this safety net be worth attaining? I bet it would. It all changed for me when I stumbled across a book called "The Inside Out". It said that no matter what happens we are loved. We are loved by default, by design of life. That love is our natural state, it is what we are made of. We can fail in our goals but we cannot fail in life. Life is a casino It gave an example that I think will perfectly illustrate the safety net I am talking about. Imagine that a casino hired you to attract clients and you are given 50 000$ in chips to gamble every night. You are also paid 500$ a day and no matter what happens with the chips you return home with your 500$ in pocket. When you win you return the chips to the casino and when you lose you return the chips too. Damn it – even on a night you go broke you take your 500$ and go home. Of course you may grow heated while playing and forget you are playing with the casino money. You may want to win and get upset if the chips are gone but the second you realise there is nothing for you to lose you are set free. This is our life. When we strive for achievements we play with the casino money but we usually take it very seriously and forget that no matter the outcome we take home our 500$. No matter what happens to our projects, goals and plans we are loved and we are enough. We can go broke but we cannot lose the love that's ours at our birthright. For me it was a game changer. Everything became easier and more enjoyable. I started taking pleasure in the game instead of focusing on the end goal. The pressure fell down and I stopped sweating the results. I found the foundation that is so solid that I can build a castle upon it. Change fear for curiosity What about you friend? If we feel driven by desire to succeed then far too often we are driven not to fail. We want to find some other place where we will be safer and secure only to realise that all that time we were sweating with a safety net to catch us. Know that no matter what you are enough. You've always been and will always be because there is no imperfection in the world. You are loved not because you have goals but because you have a soul. You may have goals and there is nothing wrong with tapping into the abundance of the Universe but do not forget that in this life you are essentially just playing with casino money. And the second you realise that you will have the courage and drive to go after your goals effortlessly – not because you have to but because you want to. There is pleasure in getting the results in life that all too often is clouded from us by the fear of failure. Clear the clouds of fear and you will be filled with passion, natural curiosity and drive. And then the magic will start to happened. OK, we've set our goals, we know what we want – where do we start? At any moment of time we have an almost unlimited number of actions we can do that will bring us smaller or bigger results depending on the action.
After some consideration we can always identify the ones with the biggest output. Yes we can – we are just not used to operate this way. Narrowing it down You probably know the famous Pareto principle 80/20 that states: 20% of actions bring us 80% of results What it really tells us is that most of the actions we do are unimportant. They may seem urgent and pressing but they will not bring us the most results. I like the approach I read in the book "The ONE Thing" that takes this principle even further asking: "Out of those 20% actions what are the 20% that will bring us the most?" That's going deep but it doesn't stop there. Later it goes: "Out of those few important actions what is the 1 thing that will bring us the most results?" To give you an example imagine we have 100 actions we can do that in total will bring us 100 $. We don't know which ones will bring us more or less but applying Pareto principle we get: Out of those 100 actions we have 20 actions that will give us 80$. (80% of 100$) Narrowing it down further we know that of those 20 actions we have 5 that will bring us 64$ (80% of 80$) And finally out of 5 we have just 1 that alone will bring us 51,2$ (80% of 64$) Isn't it amazing that only 1 thing you do will bring you more than a half of the benefits? The law may not always work but imagine that it does. Wouldn't it be important to find this one thing and focus on doing it? This would save you the time, mental resources and reduce your stress. Of course, other staff doesn't go away but when you know this one thing brings you more than 50% of the benefits the rest can wait. Applying the principle This was my biggest outcome from the book and I was eager to apply it to my life. I figured that if in every area of our life we can find that thing and focus on it the whole life would be transformed. So I asked myself the question from the book: What is the 1 thing I can start doing that is by doing it the rest will become easier or unnecessary? Then I transformed the question and applying it into different areas I got: What is the 1 thing I can start doing that is by doing it I would be transformed? What is the 1 thing I can start doing that is by doing it my love relationships would blossom? What is the 1 thing I can start doing that is by doing it I would start creating the most value? What is the 1 thing I can start doing that is by doing it my relationships with parents would get better? What is the 1 thing I can start doing that is by doing it I would start earning money? I wrote down 5 bullet points under each of the questions and later narrowed it down to just one. Doing this will help me concentrate on a thing that beats down all the others. It can be as simple as having a weekly Skype call with my parents or as big as doing the thing you fear the most. But as long as you spend some time focusing on this 1 thing the results will follow. Don't trust me – try for yourself. Ask the question: What is the one thing I can start doing that is by doing it my … will get much better? And then consistently focus your attention on this 1 thing. You'll see it working. Do it often and in different areas and your life will take an upward curve. Do it always and leave behind hundreds of people still trying to master all at once. Less is more. And the lesser the better. The idea to set this goal came to us when we were sitting in front of a laptop listening to a workshop by Tony Robbins. His voice was energetic and motivating: "Set the goals, don't overthink, don't think too much, you got 2 minutes". I was hurriedly writing numbers and words when I noticed Jing sitting still. "Why are you not writing?" "I got my goal already. I want us to become millionaires in 1 year". My spine shivered. I though I was ambitious but 1 million was just something beyond reach, something you can dream to do but not plan to do. The more we talked the more was my confidence that somehow we will pull it through. I didn't yet know how but this time was different from all other goal setting sessions I had. This time I felt as if we already became millionaires and just needed to take some required actions. I remembered words from a book "The ONE Thing" I read earlier: «Success requires action, and action requires thought. But here’s the catch—the only actions that become springboards to succeeding big are those informed by big thinking to begin with.» It meant to me that without this goal some of our actions would not even follow because we were not aiming high enough. Even if you aim high and end up half-way is higher than aiming low from day 1.
However we are open to any way of creating this money in our life but the primary way we want to do it is by creating massive value to others. I believe money is a measure of usefulness and when you give a lot and change peoples' lives the world will have no choice but to give back one way or another. This is the road we want to go down to. |